I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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