Me too!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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