Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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