I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
