i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
