dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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