Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
