got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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