I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How external is "for external use only"?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pants are for mortals
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
