you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
