I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I touched a dick in church today
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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