At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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