the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
