i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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