9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
