i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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