i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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