Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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