New invention idea: vibrating tampons
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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