I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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