I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i need some magic done to my vagina
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
