he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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