So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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