good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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