I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
