dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do herpes really smell.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
