You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
