I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
