I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
