Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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