Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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