i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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