The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
