THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
