why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
pop tarts are not kleenex
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
is that a dick in a sweater?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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