Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
