My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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