i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
