I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
