He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
