Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
