if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
