So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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