you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
