and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
