bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I could fuck to npr.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
