I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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