i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize