i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
