there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
