ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
