I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize