So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
