i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
