Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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