You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
