apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
