thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
