I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
