Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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