I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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